


Morals Are For Suckers

by Punk_Out



Series: We're going to Hell in a handbasket [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Demons, Kakashi is Crushing Harder than a 12-year old girl, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Pre-Slash, Slow Build, Supernatural - Freeform, world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 08:24:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7927699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punk_Out/pseuds/Punk_Out
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Kakashi is an awkward turtle and Iruka enjoys making his life difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morals Are For Suckers

**Author's Note:**

> So there is.... no real point to this little ditty. All it really accomplishes is a little world building and a little bit of character interactions. 
> 
> This is unbeta'd... Absolutely, completely, all my own stupid brainchild. Absolutely, completely my stupid mistakes.

XXX

The environment in The Basement was much like you'd expect. Black, barren and burning in turns. Massive, skeletal trees that populate the training grounds and rivers of burning black water winding their way around town. But despite the discomfort of the burning heat prickling against his heavy tactical gear and the pervasive stench of brimstone and simmering rage Kakashi couldn't help the tiny, nostalgic smile spreading beneath his mask. Home was home, no matter how sweaty, after all, and the bone white facades of leaders past that watched over the village were comforting in a creepy, voyeuristic way. 

Kakashi ambled his way around the village, effortlessly weaving his way through the weekend crowds; and how perverse was it that they had been reduced to the same regulatory hours as Upstairs. Kakashi could have sworn that work weeks had been the brain child of one of those asshole's from Stealth and Dirty Tricks. One of the generic demons that could pass as human, and who infiltrated their ranks to plant nasty, insidious ideas in the heads of various world leaders. It was one of those bastards that took the Christian God and made him a such a pissy prick in the Old Testament. 

He could admire the ingenuity of it. Catholic guilt tasted delicious on human skin.

Today seemed to be particularly bad. There were scores of demons and creatures backing up the halls of Admin and waiting for the requisition forms to go through, and with the offices being closed except for a skeleton staff on the weekends there was nowhere else for them all to go. So here they were, clogging the streets of the market district, engaging in brawls and debauchery that wasn't really appropriate for impressionable children's eyes, but he walked through town reading porn openly, so he couldn't really talk about appropriateness. Besides, they were creatures of sex, pain and death. What was the harm in a little bit of extracurricular training for the little brats?

Morals were for suckers anyways.

His inner monologue was interrupted by tiny, jubilant fox squeaks, the clip-clop of immature hooves, and the furious hissing of an angry vampire. Looks like someone had given his charges a day pass for good behaviour. But that begged the question: who had come upon the poor suckers waiting for him in the training fields, and who did they think they were to give the brats their freedom?

“Naruto, at least pretend to be aware of your surroundings.”

Ah. That's who. 

Kakashi contemplated turning on his heel and stalking away to enjoy the rest of his day in peace, but before he could execute his frankly stellar plan of action, Iruka's big black eyes fixed in his direction and narrowed dangerously. Damn. 

“Ah, Kakashi-sensei,” Iruka called, his voice deceptively gentle, a sweet little come-hither tinting his tone. Kakashi had heard from someone that Iruka offered remedial classes for some of the sirens who just couldn't master their songs. He wondered, briefly and baldly in the face of Iruka's impending wrath, how the songs effected their kind and just how well the application would transition from seducing humans to seducing demon-folk-- “How did training go this morning?”

“Hmm? Aah, the children are progressing very well. Before you know it they'll be getting deployed Upstairs to terrorize the masses.” He grinned, painstakingly deploying his hard earned control over his extremities to keep his ears from pressing flat against his skull and giving him away. He loved what he was, in a non-narcissistic manner, truly, but sometimes it was a pain to have tells that anyone with a canine could read.

Thank god for fine motor control.

“Kakashi-sensei--”

“Maa, Iruka-sensei, it's nearly lunchtime--”

“But it's four in the afternoon--”

“Why don't we all eat? The kids have earned it, and I'm sure you're famished from all the hard work you've undoubtedly done today, such a good citizen--”

“Is that an insult--?”

“So, lunch? Ichiraku sound good?”

The children, who had been watched with poorly concealed fascination (Sakura), thinly veiled contempt (Sasuke), and waning interest (Naruto), all perked up to different degrees at the mention of free food. Naruto made a peculiar skreak noise that Kakashi had never heard before in his many long years and pounced on Iruka, tiny claws scrabbling at the flak vest that Kakashi had never honestly understood the point of. He thought, perhaps, that somewhere down the line someone with a very bad fashion sense had managed to score a position of power with an inadvisable amount of influence over the final stylistic decisions regarding the uniforms they were expected to wear.

“Please! Please, please, pleasepleasepleaaaaaaasse can we get ramen? Iruka-senseeeeeiiiii!” Naruto yelped. He nibbled at Iruka's sleeve, leaving a sopping wet drool spot on the cuff. Iruka frowned at him until he grumbled and let go, tail waving madly and ears swiveling. Sakura was rolling her eyes, arms crossed, but Kakashi could hear the beginnings of hunger rumbling in her belly. Sasuke was too busy posing at a very calculated three feet away, head turned stoically away, dark eyes staring soulfully into the distance. 

Kakashi wasn't overly impressed. He'd mastered the perfectly-distanced-bad-boy-million-mile stare years ago. Besides, Sasuke had that little twitch around his mouth that came part and parcel with beginners brooding, one that Kakashi had hidden with the mask in his amateur days.

Iruka managed to hold strong for a full minute before his shoulders dropped and he nodded. Naruto hooted and led the charge, heedless of the teeming crowd that separated him from his staple food source. Sakura shrieked at him to slow down, berating him as she took off after him. Sasuke adopted an unaffected air but saw fit to amble after his teammates, just a little faster than would otherwise have been acceptable, skirting around the patches of watery sunlight that managed to break through the thick cloud cover.

In the distance, partially distorted by the thick layer of dust his charges had kicked up, a shadowy form went flying with an enraged bellow. Also courtesy of his charges. Iruka heaved a sigh.

“Well,” he murmured sheepishly, a hint of red suffusing his dark cheeks. The scales delicately framing his eyes and cheekbones made his face look splotchy. It was adorable. “Shall we follow? Make sure no one tries to lynch them?”

“Wonderful idea. After you, Sensei.” Kakashi tipped his head and flipped a hand lazily. A chunk of hair had loosed from its tail and made itself at home along the curve of Iruka's nose, tickling that tantalizing scar and half caught around the thick, ribbed horns curling from Iruka's skull. He wanted very badly to gently tuck that tuft back behind an ear, to feel the texture against his fingertips. He wondered if Iruka's scales were as soft as they looked or if they would catch on his skin and slice it open, if they were as prickly as Iruka himself could be.

Those thoughts were very unbecoming of a Demon his calibre. He wasn't supposed to have squishy feelings. They were supposed to come together in a flurry of passion and teeth, clawing and griping and fighting for dominance before leaving each other, satisfied and limping with a few new scars. Their kind were allergic to feelings. Seriously. Asuma and Kurenai were involved, monogamously, and the two of them were constantly breaking out in rashes.

Hand to Hades.

But Damn, Kakashi sure wouldn't scoff at a chance to experience that tail wrapped around his waist. (And if they happened to end up at his place and Iruka, maybe, decided to say the night, cuddled all nice and close together in his tiny bed, Kakashi wouldn't dare turn him out.)  
XX  
It took them a whopping twenty minutes to catch up with the children, mostly because Iruka insisted on stopping and apologizing profusely for Naruto's cavalier disregard for everything in his quest for ramen, despite being infamous for it around the sector. The unfortunate victim, one of the more hot tempered of the Aburame clan, bristled, slimy skin peeling back to reveal a mouthful of large pointy teeth, ready to attack.

Kakashi stared over Iruka's shoulder, ears pointed forward with intent, completely still except for the vibrations in his throat. The Aburame heard the growl and froze.

Upstairs amongstt Humans, Kakashi's form may have been smaller by a large degree but here in the Basement it wasn't the size of the form, it was the strength of the soul and Kakashi outclassed this little Deathworm so much that a confrontation would be laughable and he knew it.

There was a hasty, muttered apology and then the Aburame beat a hasty retreat. Iruka stared over his shoulder at Kakashi for a moment. Then he said, “Thank you,” softly but almost stiffly and turned away, continuing the path to Ichiraku's. No one else bothered them.

They arrived to find the booths already vacated, unsurprisingly, and a bill with their names on it. Iruka smiled, rolled his eyes and placed his order. Kakashi absently followed suit, then wolfed down his portion once it arrived and set to watching Iruka. That strange tension earlier drained away as he slurped noodles and munched on pork, replaced with a fluid grace that Kakashi hadn't had the pleasure of seeing as yet. It looked good on him. Really good.

“So, Kakashi-sensei. Would you mind telling me why you never showed up to training today?” Iruka asked casually, unexpectedly, tongue curling out to coax an unruly clump of noodles into his mouth. His lovely, long tongue.

“Hmm? Oh, yes, well, it's a funny story, actually.” Kakashi smiled, eye bunching up above his mask as he frantically searched his mind for something even remotely believable. He wasn't sure why, but he was fairly certain that Iruka wouldn't believe he'd spent the morning besieged, protecting his territory from giant, raging Jezebel's. Even though it was kind of true. Anko had been pounding on his door this morning, screaming something about wasabi and dango and Gai between great, heaving sobs. He figured she was probably angry about something.

“No no, let me guess.” Iruka flicked a stray piece of hair away from his eyes, black nails brushing lightly against the gold scales around them. “Today it'll be a giant flying turtle stole a precious artifact from a swooning princess who heralds from distant lands, who you so happened to meet on the road of life, and you were honour bound to retrieve it for her.”

Kakashi blinked. That was actually a pretty good one. He might have to use that. “Why, Iruka-sensei, it's almost as though you were there!”

“Mm, and when you returned triumphant, she insisted on repaying you by gifting her most precious commodity.” 

“My my, Sensei, do tell. What might she have given me?” Kakashi leaned forward slightly, ears standing erect and attuned unwavering to Iruka.

Iruka smirked ever so slightly, fingers tapping along his bottom lip and down his neck. Kakashi stared, following those fingers, wondering where they might be going. “I'm sure I couldn't guess. Probably something personal. Something-- carnal.”

“Do go on.”

“Kakashi-sensei, I've heard you have an active imagination. I'm sure you can come to your own conclusions.”

“Tease,” Kakashi huffed, ears drooping a little before he could stop them. Iruka shrugged and stared at him expectantly, one eyebrow raised. “Fine fine, so that wasn't exactly what happened, but some very important business came up before I could make it to the training fields. If I could do things differently, I would, but alas.”

“Oh, don't worry Kakashi-sensei. I told the kids you'd make it up to them. You have a full day of training tomorrow! Starting at five AM sharp.” Iruka grinned, those tantalizing fangs poking out over his full lower lip. “I'll pick you up at quarter to.”

Wait, what?

“Wait, what?”

“Tomorrow morning. It wouldn't do for you to be late two days in a row, now would it?”

Well. Fuck. How the winds of change do blow.

Oh well. At least he could hang back and watch Iruka's self-righteous marching from up close. Those uniform pants always did do phenomenal things to his ass.

Optimism!


End file.
